Zombie Girls

Chapter 99

                                     After

    I died sometime during the night.  I know that now, I just don’t know when it happened.
    I hold my arms out in front of me and they’re shot through with silver.  I take off my shoes and socks and the silver winds up my feet, just under the skin.  I run my hands over my face even though I can’t see it.  I don’t feel any cracks.
    I had the last batch of the Shot.  The last batch, the closest to what that evil executive wanted to get.
    Something quickens in my chest, and then slows down.
    Did I really die?
    I hold my hand against my heart, but I don’t feel anything.  And I was never any good at checking for a pulse.
    I don’t know.  I’ve definitely changed, whatever I am.  The silver showing through my skin proves that. 
    I think of the girl in the lab, the coldly smiling girl that I now resemble.  It hurts to think of it because of Sam, but at some point I think I might want to go back to the base.  Talk to her, see what she knows.
    I gather up my things and put them all in the backpack.  I’m not hungry.  I’m not thinking of brains, and I’m not thinking of eating people.
    I know I’m different, but I don’t know how.
    The question is – am I safe?
    “Delilah!”    
    That weird sensation happens in my chest again and I drop my bag.  Surely not.  Surely I’m hallucinating.  She would know better, wouldn’t she?  She would know better than to come after me.
    “Delilah!”
    But no, she’s there, running towards me with Sunshine by her side.
    “Cassie?”
    She stops about ten feet away, but I can tell she’s been crying.  Her hands clench her backpack straps.
    “Have you – ”
    “Changed?”
    “Yes.”
    I nod.  “Last night.  But – ”
    “Something’s different.”
    “Yes.  Cassie, there’s something I meant to tell you, about the Shot – ”
    She holds up her hand, cutting me off.  “Are you hungry?  Do you feel like eating brains?”
    “No.”
    “Good.”  She drops her bag and runs toward me, even though that’s a really stupid thing to do.  Cassie, my risk taker.
    I drop to my kneeds and open my arms and she almost bowls me over with a hug.  We’re both crying and laughing at the same time.
    “Oh thank God,”  She says.  She’s hugs me until I choke, then she pulls back.
    “Wow,”  She runs her fingertips lightly over my arms, following the silver.  “Does it hurt?”
    “No,”  I shake my head.  “Cassie, you shouldn’t have risked finding me.”
    “I couldn’t help it.  I had to check.  That woman held onto me for hours until they finally made her stop so I could eat dinner.  And then I asked if they had a lab and explained about the research.  Delilah – they took away my key fob.  Said it was too important for a kid.”
    She’s right, her necklace is gone.
    “And you were gone too.  And I deceided screw it, I didn’t want to be around dumb adults anyways.”
    “That was still incredibly risky.”
    Cassie sets her jaw and folds her arms.
    “But that’s the Cassie I know.”  I grin and take off my necklace and drape it around her neck.  “Until we get to a lab.  Because it is important enough for a kid.  Look at what the adults did to the world anyways.”
    “Exactly.”  She picks up her backpack.  “C’mon Sunshine.”
    I pick up a stick and throw it, and Sunshine runs after it with a bark.
    “Delilah?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Thank you for being my Somebody.”
    “Hey, don’t even think of it. We’re partners.”  I nudge her with a hip and she giggles.  In a few steps, she grabs my hand.
    And then we’re off to find a lab.

                                                                The End

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Chapter 98

    I stare at the closed door.  Shut out forever.  I remember when Cassie and I first met, and how everyone that had tried to take care of us had died, and that's why we formed a partnership instead.
    And I realize that now I’m Somebody.  I’m her Somebody, living and breathing for a few more hours.  It’s not as bad as I thought.
    “Bye Cassie,”  I say, and then follow the graveled path back out to the grasslands of Colorado.

    I don’t go far.  I just go far enough that I’m sure that I’m no longer in the minefield, but I can still kind of see the compound. 
    It’s pleasant here.  The sun’s shining, the sky is blue, and there’s a warm breeze.  I spread out a blanket and have a picnic without any fear of zombies coming along.  I put on my sunglasses and lay back in the sun, listening to music.  I try to ignore the pain that’s building in my body and killing me slowly.
    I enjoy my last moments – the warmth of the sun on my skin, the light wind, the grass soft against my back.
    Then I get out my teddy bear and snuggle with it.  I fade off to sleep.

    I wake in the middle of the night and it’s very cold.  The pain’s increased to the worst thing I’ve ever felt. 
    Dear God, it feels like my blood is made of fire, and my muscles are the coals, feeding the flames. I roll back and forth, trying to stop it in some way.
    “Please stop please stop please stop,”  I ask the pain, even though I know it won’t hear me.  I lose track of time, just involved in the virus and trying to make it stop hurting.
    “Mommy!”  I cry out over and over.  I’m hot and then I’m cold.  “Mommy!”
    But she doesn’t come.  I hug my bear tighter, and eventually, finally, I fall asleep again.

    I wake up and the sun has risen enough that I can see streaks of pink across the sky.
    I sit up and the pain is all gone.
    I am zombie.

                                                                              Next Page

Chapter 97

    From above I can see that the compound is really a small town surrounded by a metal fence.  Even with a nice green lawn around it, it’s tiny, maybe a thirty minute walk from one side to the other if you walk slowly.  There’s a portion near the northeast section where they’re building a cement wall, but it’s definitely a work in progress.  Good idea though.  Get the temporary measure put in and then create the permanent structure.
    I kind of expected a lot of zombies around the place, but I don’t see any in sight.  I spot the entrance to the northwest and we head down.    
    When we get close the entrance – about a football field away – we hear a gunshot.  Cassie and I stop still and hold up our hands.
    “Stop there!”  A voice shouts out over a megaphone.  I glance at Cassie and she shrugs.
    “If you’re still human, follow the path between the stones to the front gate.  DO NOT stray outside of the path.”
    “Very fairy book,” Cassie says.
    “Yeah right.”
    We carefully down a nice, white graveled path borderd on both sides by grey rocks.  In some spots I notice blood and torn grass.
    “I think they might have set up a minefield around the town,”  I say.
    “Makes sense,”  Cassie says.
    “Just be very careful if you ever have to leave in a hurry.”
    “Yes Mooommm,”  Cassie rolls her eyes.  I grin back at her and push her shoulder a bit.  She shoves herself into me and I stumble, and we both giggle a bit.
    We reach the front gate and our smiles fade.  It was good to have one more bit of fun, but this is it.  This is goodbye.  Tears form in my eyes.
    We’re standing in front of a metal gate.  Behind that is a small, fenced area consisting of just grass, and behind that is another fenced gate followed by a door. 
    A short balding man wrenches open the door.  He’s wearing khakis and a striped shirt, and looks a bit harassed.  He takes one look at us and calls over his shoulder –     
    “Ferals!”
    “Ferals?!  What the – “
    I put up a hand and stop Cassie in mid-speech.  “What’re you talking about mister?”
    Just then a big round woman pushes him out of the way.  “Shut up Larry.  The kids are okay.”
    “You haven’t even seen them yet Glenda.”
    And then I realize what he’s talking about.  He’s calling us feral.  What - just because we’re kids?
    “He doesn’t mean any harm.  Not all the kids that have come here are okay in the head.  But you are, aren’t you honey?”
    The woman swoons over Cassie like she’s a dog.  She opens the gate and pulls Cassie straight into a bear hug.  Sunshine follows with a half-hearted wag of her tail and a whine.
    “Glenda you can’t do that, they have to go into quarantine.  They could be infected.”
    “She’s not infected,”  I point at Cassie.  “I am.  I’m not coming inside.”  I put my hands up and try to look harmless.
    The woman gasps and pulls Cassie back with her.  I roll my eyes.  Then I notice that Cassie’s backpack is still on this side.  I hold it up.
    “She needs her backpack.”
    Glenda looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
    “Please?”  I look at Larry.  “And could I just say goodbye?”
    Larry nods and takes the backpack.
    “Alright, just don’t bite her.” The big woman says.
    Cassie runs into my arms and hugs me.
    “Please don’t make me stay with her.”  She whispers.
    “I’m sorry.”  I whisper back.  “Try to get Larry to help you get free.”
    She squeezes me tighter then.
    “I love you, Delilah.”
    “I love you too, Cassie.”  I hug her tighter, one last time.  “Watch out for yourself.”
    And then the big fat lady grabs her out of my grip and slams the door.

Chapter 96

    I’ve been afraid of becoming a zombie this whole time.  Everyone is, of course, but now I will become one for sure.  I sit with the blood from the shirt cooling on my hands and I realize that I will die but not die.  I will become –
    I shut my eyes and force everything out.  There is one last thing I must do.  I have to get Cassie to safety.
    I put the shirt on the ground and stand up.
    “Come on.  We need to get to the compound.”
    Cassie just looks at me, crying and shaking her head.  I make sure that there’s no blood on my hands and then I kneel down and gently touch her sleeves.
    “We need to get you somewhere safe.  Now.”
    She nods and then collapses into more tears.  Sunshine comes over and pushes her nose into Cassie’s hand.  She hugs the dog tightly, and I’m glad Sunshine’s able to give her a hug when I can’t.
    Emotionally, I feel cold inside, just cut off, with the thought of getting Cassie safely to the compound, before I turn, pounding in my head.
    I get up and grab a bottle of water.  I scrub my hands and my neck until they’re clean of blood.  I take one of my shirts and tear off a strip and tie it around my neck, in a way that I hope looks like a nifty scarf.  I double-check that I’m clean of blood and then walk over and gently touch Cassie’s arm.
    She looks me over and then throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around me so tightly that I can’t breathe for a bit.
    I sit on the ground, and that’s when we both dissolve into tears.
    It’s a good cry.  I feel like I should have done this long ago.  But as it ends and we both quiet, I can just feel a bit of the pain from the virus spreadhing through me.  It’s a dull ache at this point, but I know it’s a sign.
    We get up and head out with Cassie’s hand in mine.

    We walk for a long time.  The pain spreads slowly, building bit by bit, just like some flus will.  It reminds me a bit of a mix of food posioning and flu actually.  It feels like you’ve been poisioned, and it feel serious.
    I worry that we won’t make it there in time.
    “How long does it take?”  I ask.
    “It’s different for everyone.  Longer if you took the Shot.”
    “I did.”
    And now I’m back to thinking about the Shot.  It took us so long to get the money.  I got the last batch of the Shot offerred before everything shut down.  I let that thought ping-pong through my mind and then I shut it down.   I can’t have hope, not for my sake, and not for Cassie’s.  Better not to have hope and then have it wrenched away.
    I don’t want her to see me turn.  I don’t want her to see me at the end, in all that pain. 
    I pick up the pace a bit, and then eventually, we come up over a hill, and there on the other side is the compound.

Chapter 95

    My hands clench and adrenaline rushes through me.
    He’s seen her.  Dear God, he’s seen her.
    “No, not her.”  I say.  “Not her too.”  My hands clench into fists and I run.
    He lunges.    
    I build up speed as fast as I can, tensing every part of my body.  His misses her the first time and goes for her again and then I’m there and I leap at him.
    I put my hands out and tackle him and we go to the ground.  It’s as we’re flying through the air that the thought whizzes through my brain that this is how my Mom died.
    And then we hit the ground and roll.  There’s a sharp pain in my neck and another one in my side, and then I’m on my back stiff-arming him away from me.    
    “Stop it Sam,”  I say, even though I know it’s not really him.  Sick fear runs through me.  He’s so much stronger than me.  This isn’t going to last long.
    This is how my Mom died this is how my Mom died this is how my Mom died...
    “Hey Sam,”  Cassie says. 
    We both look – God knows why he does – and then she swings a shovel just like I taught her and bangs him on the head. 
    It’s enough to get him off me.  I get up, the panic and adrenaline still pumping through me and making my hands shake.  I put one hand out for the shovel and she hands it to me.
    “Sorry, Sam,”  I say, and give him a good hit on the head.  He hits the ground and stops moving. 
    Cassie and Iook at him.
     “I don’t think you’ve killed him,”  She says.    
    “Me neither.”  I drop the shovel and grab his arms.  God, he’s heavy.
    “Get your backpack out of the Jeep and mine too,”  I say.  Cassie runs ahead of me,    Sunshine nipping at her heels.
    I drag him over to the Jeep while Cassie throws out supplies from the back, and then runs around and opens the driver door.  I boost and shove him in there as best as I can.      It’s not ptetty and he’d be hurting if he was still human, but it works.  I slam the door shut.
    “Wait for the cure Sam.”  I put my hand on driver door window.
     “How are we going to use the Jeep now?”  Cassie asks.
    “We’re not.  He told me it was fucked before he died.”
    I watch him for a few moments, not wanting to move away yet, and then I see him wake up.   There’s a moment where he seems himself, and then he sees me, and throws himself at the window, hismouth open and his eyes crazed.
    “I love you,” I say, and take my hand away from the Jeep and step back.  “We’ll come back for you.”
    I turn and find Cassie holding a shirt in her hand and crying.
    “I know.  I’m sad too honey.  But it’ll be okay.”
    She shakes her head and motions me closer.  She gets up on her tippy toes and holds the shirt against my neck.  It stings.  And then I realize my neck feels wet and cold.
    I pull the shirt away from my neck and it’s covered in blood.    
    Cassiie’s crying gets louder as I hold the shirt in my hand and sink to the ground.
    “Oh God.”  It’s all I can think of to say.

Chapter 94

    He comes over the top of the hill and I stop still. 
    Sam’s covered in blood.  His shirt’s torn and his hair’s messed up.  And his leg...  His leg’s been mangled.
    Tears slide down my cheeks.    
    “Delilah,” He says softly.
    “Please tell me it was a dog,”  I say.
    “Can’t.”  He collapses to the ground.
    I scream.  I don’t care if the damn zombies come.  I scream and I shout – “No!” over and over.
    He lays there in a little heap, like he feels really bad.  And I realize that what I’m doing isn’t helping at all.  The tears stream down my face and I do everything I can to pull myself together, to calm down long enough to help a bit.
    I kneel on the ground and pull him into my arms, and he makes a long, low pain sound.
    “Are you hurt inside?”
    “No, not like you mean.  Just the virus.” 
    There are streaks of sweat down his face.  God, if I’d gone out earlier I could have helped him, could have eased his pain, even just a bit.
    “What happened?”
    I carefully shift so his head’s in my lap.  He snuggles into me, even though I can tell it hurts.  Sam closes his eyes for a minute, and then opens them his beautiful green eyes to stare off into the horizon.
    “The Jeep’s fucked.  So after the fight I went to get oil.  I’d noticed a convenience store a bit before we pulled over last night.  Thought that was worth a try.
    “I was in the store, looking for the oil, when it bit my leg.  You just don’t expect them to go straight for your leg, you know?  You don’t expect them to crawl on the floor.  But that’s what it did.  Just crawled right up and took a chunk out of me. 
    “I put five bullets in it and it almost reached my neck before it finally stopped.  By then it was too late.  It took me hours to get back here.”
    I’m not going to stop the crying, it’s all I can do to keep breathing normally.  I stroke his hair and he pushes his head into my hand.
    “I’m sorry I didn’t come find you.”
    “It’s okay,”  He looks up at me.  “You would really tell people you’re married to me?”
    “Yeah.” And a smile spreads across my face at the thought, even from under all the tears.
    He smiles then and it’s his glorious, happy smile.  He leans up, even wincing from the pain, and we kiss.
    It’s the best kiss I’ve ever had.  He reaches up and we hold hands.  Carefully, I break off the kiss and then slide down, so we’re holding each other.
    Then I think of something.  I search both his wrists, slide my hands up higher.
    “Are you just not wearing the bracelet?  When did you get it?”
    “Get what?”
    “The Shot.  When did you get the Shot?”  My mind races through the months, trying to remember from the memos which batches of the Shot were the strongest.  Obviously, the later he got his the better we chance we have.
    “I didn’t get the Shot.”
    “What?!”  I stop my frantic search and stare at him.
    “I didn’t get it Delilah,”  He says gently.  “Too broke.  Nobody cared.  Nobody ever cared, except you.”
    He kisses me again, even as the tears flow faster and faster.  We wrap ourselves around each other.  Then he breaks off the kiss and holds my face.  He strokes my hair with the other hand and looks straight into my eyes.
    “Come with me, Delilah,”  He says.
    “What?”  I ask, surprised.
    “Come with me, just like Sid and Nancy.”
    I don’t know what’s on my face at this moment but my heart’s beating like a drum.
    “They didn’t get to die together at the same time, but then they still got to be together.  If we die near the same time, we’ll get to be together.”
    “But we won’t be dead.”
    “No, see, that’s even better.  I’ve seen them Delilah.  I’ve seen the zombies that still hold on to each other.  We could be like that.  Together, until Cassie finds the cure.”
And then he kisses me again.
    My heart’s pounding out of my chest.
    I don’t want to die. 
    What’s he’s saying is very romantic, very sweet.  Yes, I would like to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don’t want to die.
    “I’m afraid.”  It slips out and I didn’t even mean to say anything.
    “Me too,”  He says.  “But we’ll be together.  It’ll be okay.”
    And it will leave Cassie all alone in the world.
    I pull back and look at him.  His eyes are warm and so full of love.  He really does want to be with me.
    “I love you,”  I say and I really mean it.
    “I love you too.”  That glorious smile breaks over his face like a sunrise, and he kisses me and then holds me close.
    I close my eyes and breathe him in, feeling his chest rise and fall.  He’s so warm against me.  Then he stiffens.
    “No,”  I moan, and tears start falling again.
    “It’s okay,”  He pats me as best as he can, and then he tenses again, and pulls away from me in pain.  He turns so his back is on the ground, and pulls up a bit from the pain, his hands clenching and opening.  I grab his hand and find that his skin is burning hot.
    He grips my hand and looks into my eyes.
    “I love you,”  He says.  Then he gives out a long low moan, and goes still.
    His hand is still warm in mine, and his eyes are closed, and I lose it.
    I get up and I walk a few steps away with my back turned, and totally lose it.
    I cry and I make those horrible sounds like my Mom made.  I finally understand why she made them, what it took to wrench them out of her.
    God, this hurts.  This hurts so much.  I want him back now.    
    I turn and look at him. 
    Maybe I should have gone with him.
    “Delilah?”  This tender girl’s voice calls out.
    “Cassie?”
    I wipe my tears away, tyring to see, when Cassie comes over the hill.  It’s at that point that the zombie that is Sam opens his eyes and moans.
    He moves, and that’s when I realize.  He’s in between me and Cassie.  He’s closer to her.        
    Cassie screams.

Chapter 93

    God, Sam thought last night that I’d finally agreed to stay with him, even though that wasn’t really what I meant.
    Okay, I’ve got to come up with an answer before they come back and it’s got to be good.  But I can’t leave Cassie.  She’s all alone in this world, and she’s too young to look after herself.  What if she winds up with a bad new parent?  Will she know what to do?  Who will protect her, who will look after her?
    But I want to be with Sam.  I’ve never felt this way for anyone else.  He sits near me and I feel like I’m vibrating inside.  He’s such a cool person too.  I want to know him better.
    I don’t know why he’s being so stubborn about this.  Really, how hard is it going to be to live with adults again?  We can just ignore the stuff we don’t like.  Sure, they’ll punish us, but really what can they do?
    Okay, so then every bad abusive scene from a movie pops in my head, and with the zombies they can get pretty creative,  and there aren’t any cops to help out anymore either.
    But what if they thought we were adults somehow?  I’m mean, okay, with me it’s stretching it a bit, but Sam isn’t so far off.  What if we say that he’s older, say eighteen, and we say that I’m a bit younger than that.
    But it we say that I’m under eighteen, they could still separate us, right?  They could say that I need a guardian, or a step mom or whatever, and she could say I can’t see him anymore.
    That’s bullshit!
    Okay, maybe I see a bit of what he’s saying about adults.  I don’t want to go back to that crap either.  I mean I can take care of myself.
    And then I think of something, something that would have them treat us as adults.
    We could tell them that we’re married.
    Yeah, we could do that.  We could say that our parents were worried about us being all alone if something bad happened with the zombies and let us get married.
    That would work, right?  Nobody orders around the married couples.  We could live together and do what we want.
    Yes!  Now I’ve just got to convince Sam.
    I smile to myself and then get everything piled back into the Jeep, ready for when the others come back.
    Hours go by.

    The sun’s beating down on me and I’m worried all to hell.  I bet it’s noon by now and neither of them are back.  I pace back and forth, trying to choose a direction.  Should I go after Cassie?  She’s little, but she also has Sunshine.  Should I go after Sam?  Did he take a weapon?
    Crap!
    Then I hear a shout.
    “Delilah!”
    It’s Sam.  I jump up, happy to hear him.
    “Yeah?”  I yell back.  “Hey, Sam, I know how to fix everything.”  I run towards his voice, near the edge of the hill.  “Let’s just tell them we’re married!”
    “Delilah!”  And it’s this horrible, ragged cry.  For a minute there I think that means that he doesn’t want to tell people he’s married to me.  Then the sound of it sinks in.
    His voice is full of sorrow and pain.


 

Chapter 92

    It’s still daylight when Sam suggests pulling over for the night.
    “Isn’t it a little early?”  Cassie asks.
    “Yeah, but this way we get a good night’s sleep and show up at the compound rested and looking good,”  Sam says.
    We all agree, but I think he just wants another night with us.  That’s cool with me – I’d like another night with him. 
    We’re in an area of fields of grass and hills.  These hills aren’t rounded, instead they’re high and sometimes have a bit of a cliff to them.  At the top of one we find hay baled into squares and stacked four high and three wide.
    “Probably kept out here to feed cattle,”  Sam says.
    “That makes sense,”  I say.
    “So we’re sleeping in the Jeep again?”  Cassie asks with a sour face.
    “Nope, we’re sleeping up there,”  Sam points to the top of the hay stack.
    “Really?”
    “Yeah,”  He smiles.  “Just put down some blankets and we’ll be fine.”
    There’s no place we want to really light a fire, so we break out some bread, canned peaches and vienna sausages.
    “I don’t really like these sausages,”  Sam says.
    “Better than sardines,”  I tell him.
    “Yeah,”  He shrugs.  “I could still use a steak.”
    “Me too.  How about you Cassie?”
    “I’d love a pizza!”
    “That sounds good,”  I toss Sunshine a sausage and she swallows it whole.
    After dinner Sam shows Cassie how to carefully climb the hay, and then she starts setting up our sleeping area. 
    Sam and I hold hands and walk over to another haystack nearby.  As soon as we’re out of sight on the other side he pulls me into his arms and kisses me.
    I lose everything but him for a few minutes, and when we eventually stop I’m thankful to find that no zombies sneaked up on us.  I’m pressed back against the hay, and there’s this wonderful green scent coming from it.
    “Let’s take her there, make sure she’s safe, and then go home.  We can come visit her every once in a while.”
    “Why don’t you just stay there with us?”
    He kisses me again and it feels like he’s pressuring me with his kisses.  It’s like he’s saying, ‘stay with me’ when he does it.
    I break off the kiss so that I can hug him.
    “I don’t understand why you won’t at least try it.”
    “Exactly.  I don’t understand why you won’t either.”
    I put my head on his shoulder but that just makes it worse.  My whole body lights up.  I rack my brain trying to think of something; of some way for this to work.  Why can’t I just have both?
    “I want to be with you,”  He hugs me tighter.  His scent, his touch, makes it so much harder to think.
    “I want to be with you too,”  I say.  And then I let everything go, so I can just enjoy the present, enjoy him.  Then I kiss him.

    After we come back, we tie a rope around Sunshine and lift her up on the haystack.  She sniffs every edge but fortunately doesn’t fall off.  Then we all settle down and go to sleep with all of us snuggled near each other.  I feel safe, and warm and happy.  Then I drift off to sleep.

    In the morning I wake up and I’m the only one left on the stack.  The blankets are crumbled and just left behind. 
    Then I hear shouting.
    I scramble to the edge of the hay, my heart pounding in my chest.  I don’t have any weapons on me.  I peer over the edge, fearing the worst, but I don’t see any zombies.  Instead Sam and Cassie are yelling at each other.
    “She’s staying with me!”  Cassie yells.
    “No!  She told me last night she’s going to be with me!”
    Oh crap.  He totally misunderstood what I said.
    “Cassie!  Sam!”  I shout and scramble down, but by the time I make it to the ground both of them are headed in different directions.   
    “Cassie!  Sam!”  I yell again, but neither of them turn around.  I sink to the ground and pull my knees in against my chest.
    Crap.  How have I made things even worse?

Chapter 91

    The next day we’ve been traveling for a few hours when we hit the edge of a small town.  I look  for zombies but all I see are abandoned cars, open houses and blood.  Then we drive past a nice little park, complete with overgrown green lawn.
    “Stop!”  Cassie calls out.
    “Why?”  I ask.
    “Look!”  She points, and then I see movement near one of the trees in the middle of the park.  It’s a man – an adult – and I think he sees us.
    “Is he a zombie?”  Sam asks.
    “I don’t think so.”
    The guy stops and waves his arms while jumping up and down.
    “Nope, not a zombie,”  I say.  I roll down the window and shout out – “C’mon!”
    The man runs towards us, and with each step I can see more about him.  I think he’s in his late thirties.  He’s balding but trying to hide it with his hair cut short and in spikes.  He’s wearing khakis, sneakers, and a red polo that’s slightly torn.
    “What’s that sound?”  Cassie asks.
    “Oh my God,”  Sam says.
    “What?”  I ask, then follow where Sam’s pointing.  The sound is a low rumble of zombie moans, and I’d say there are at least a hundred zombies, a lot of them fast, pouring through the park.
    “Run!”  I shout.
    The guy doesn’t even look over his shoulder, just pumps his arms and pushes his head down.   Cassie opens her door and scoots over to the other side, holding Sunshine. 
He leaps into the Jeep, saying “Ow” at the same time.  He pulls the door shut behind him.
    “Floor it!”  He shouts.  “Straight ahead!”
    The fast zombies are maybe two blocks behind him.  The man rolls down the window and screams out –
    “Fuck you!  Fuck you!”
    In the mirror, I see him raise something black, something that looks like a remote for a TV, and then press it triumphantly.
    First I hear a sound, a pow, and then a rumbling, and then something explodes on the other side of the park.
    Sam floors it and the Jeep jumps forward.  The guy, the adult, is giggling as buildings explode all around town.
    Finally he stops laughing and rolls up the window.
    He looks at us, and we look at him.  I’m sure my eyes are as wide as saucers.  He’s dirty and there are tracks in his skin from sweat, but it’s been ages since I’ve seen anyone as gloriously happy as this guy is at this minute.
    “I got 'em, man, I got 'em,”  He mumbles to himself and then seems to notice where we are.  “Take a left here.” 
    Sam complies and I grab for the bar above my head as we swing around the corner.
    “Kids, hunh?”  The guy nods his head a couple of times as if it makes complete sense.  “Hey,take a right here, buddy, and stop okay?”  He slaps the side of Sam’s seat, like I’ve seen other men slap each other’s backs.
    We turn around the corner and there’s a black SUV sitting there alone under a tree.
    “Hey great job buddy.  Good luck okay!”  And with a smile and a wave he’s out the door and trotting to his vehicle.  We watch him get in and drive off in stunned silence.
    “Adults are crazy,”  Sam says.  He turns in his seat and looks at Cassie.  “You sure you want to go to this compound full of adults?”
    “Yeah,” She says, but she doesn't sound as sure as a few hours ago.

Chapter 90

    I wake up in the middle of the night.  I don’t think I was screaming or anything because Sam, Casie and Sunshine are all still asleep.  I stare out into the utter darkness of the barn and remember some vague dream about my Mom.
    It hits me then.  The last time I headed out into this world with someone I loved, she died.  She died and it was my fault...

    The TV and the phones hadn’t worked for a week.  I mean, we could still turn them on, but you couldn’t connect a call, and the TV didn’t have anything coming through.  Mom was bound and determined to head to California and find Dad and Mike.  Dad had been demanding that we stay where we were the last time we talked with them.  He didn’t think it was safe for anybody to go anywhere.  No coming to get them, and they weren’t coming to get us.
    My Mom decided he was wrong.  She decided that we were going to go find them.  She’d always stop abruptly at that point – just go find them.  But both of us could fill out the rest of the sentence – go find them and be a family again. Mom and I agreed on that, even though I wasn’t holding my breath anymore.
    As much as it hurt, I didn’t think they truly wanted us anymore, zombies or not.
    I didn’t want to go, because I didn’t want to leave the house.  I kept insisting that they would get through on the phone, that landlines were better than cell phones, so we’d hear from them if we just stayed.  But looking back on it now, I know the truth.  I was terrified.  I was scared of leaving the house, not to mention going across half the country. 
    It was just scary, and I couldn’t face it.
    When Mom insisted that we go, I threw a temper tantrum.  I caused a fight and went and hid in my room.  She packed the entire car herself, alone, even though it was very dangerous at that point.  And when she finally came to me, she had to practically drag me out of the house kicking and screaming.
    So we’re there by the car, and I was screaming and arguing and crying.  I insisted that they would call in the next few minutes, and if we could just go inside she would see that.  I was making a hell of a racket.  My Mom had me by the arm and was insisting that I get in the car.  I wrenched my arm away and turned to go into the house, and there was a zombie right there.  He was covered in blood and his clothes were torn.  He opened his mouth and moaned.
    We both shut up instantly, tears still streaming down my face, my mouth open.  The zombie seemed a bit surprised by the lack of noise, and then he came at me. 
    I froze.
    Mom rushed past me and tackled him.  They hit the ground hard, and then he overpowered her and then I heard her scream.
    There were other zombies then and Celie came out of nowhere and hit them with a bat and grabbed my hand and then we were out of there – leaving the door to my house open and the car loaded and my Mom, my Mom on the ground.
    It was all my fault and I stood idly by.

    So now, I look at these two people I love – yes love – and wonder how on earth can I lead them out into this world?  How can I say to them that I am someone safe to travel with?  How can I tell them that they can count on me?

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