Zombie Girls

Chapter 89

    We coast to a stop, looking at what’s left of the vehicle.
    “How long ago?”  I ask.
    “It wasn’t there last night.  I’m not seeing any flames, but it’s definitely still hot.  I don’t know -  maybe an hour or so?  Maybe more?  Definitely since last night at midnight.”
The doors of the SUV are torn open.  The only bit of color left on the vehicle is near the back, and it’s a dark blue.  There’s a brown backpack on the ground, and a blue blanket caught on one of the back doors, fluttering in the mild wind.
    “Are they still alive?”  Cassie asks.
    “I don’t know honey.”
    Dear God, if we’d left an hour ago, two hours ago, would we have found them still alive?  What was I doing two hours ago?  If we’d just gotten up a bit earlier...
    “Maybe they’re still around,”  Cassie lunges to the other side of the Jeep and looks out the window.
    “They’re not,”  Sam says quietly.
    “You don’t know that!”
    “You’re right I don’t.  But they would have had to leave the car, and there are zombies all around here.”
    “Crap,”  I say.  Five minutes?  If we’d left five minutes earlier would we have found them, helped them?
    Sam sighs.  “Okay.  Tell you what.  I’ll drive away from the zombies, and away from the car, but kind of slow.  Keep an eye for anything that might be them.  Maybe they got lucky, maybe they found a rock somewhere.”
    I love him for that.  I love him for looking. 
    But even though we drive real slow for probably half an hour, we don’t find anything.

    We’ve been driving for a couple of hours when Sam slows to a crawl.
    “Oh God,”  He says.
    “What?”  Cassie grabs the edge of my seat and peers around.
    “I heard it was bad,”  I say, looking ahead.  “I just didn’t expect it to be this bad.”
    “Yeah.”
    “But didn’t you see it on the way down?”  I ask Sam.
    “Naw, we went through the mountains.”
    Denver.  It had been a beautiful city, especially from the footage I saw of the 2008 political convention. 
    It was just awful, what had happened here.
    We’re all silent for a few minutes.  I just keep thinking – those poor people.  I want to see it how it used to be, even though there isn’t even anyone left to rebuild it.  There’s no one left to say, not only can we rebuild, but we can make it better.
    I stab at my eyes, willing the tears not to fall.  We may not be able to build a great and shining city again in my lifetime.  But dammit, I want to build something pretty and good and better, even if it’s something small.
    Sunshine pushes her wet nose into my hand and whines.  I hug her, and realize I’ve been gripping my necklace.   
    “It’s okay girl.  C’mon guys, let’s go,”  I say softly. 
    “Yeah,”  Cassie says.  “We’ve got work to do.”

    We drive the rest of the day, even though sometimes it seems like we’re not getting very far because we have to keep taking detours.  The route Sam takes is a good one though, because we hardly see any zombies.  A lot of wreckage, but few zombies.
    The sun is bright, though, and the sky is blue, and we have each other. 
    We settle down for the night in a barn, with doors that will still close.  We don’t light a fire for dinner, so we have cold pork’n’beans, and some bread, and some cold leftover hot dogs.  We sing ‘Home on the Range’ until Sunshine howls and Cassie collapses into giggles, and then we’re off to bed in the Jeep, just in case.
    I feel like I’m holding my breath, even though I’m not.

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Chapter 88

    Sam honks the horn and I look at him incredulously.
    “That’s not going to work – they don’t care about noise.”
    “Some of the fast ones do,”  he says.
    “Hunh.”
    And he’s right; some of them step out of the way, as if out of habit.  Unfortunately, some of the slow ones amble in.
    “Oh well,”  Sam shrugs and revs the engine.  “We’ll have to do it the fun way I guess.”          He grins and the Jeep leaps forward as I grab the bar near my head.  Bodies fall from sight, and the Jeep climbs.  We’re still walled in on the sides, though, and unfortunately I left my window partially unrolled.  I don’t notice that fact until I feel something in my hair.  I reach up absentmindedly to bat at it, and my fingers hit cold, clammy things in my hair.  I look up at that point to see a zombie grinning at me through the glass, its hand over the windows and its fingers digging into my scalp.
    I scream as those cold fingers wrap around my hair and yank.
    “Shit,” Sam says.  The Jeep swings wildly in a circle but the damn zombie still hangs on, ripping out my hair as we go.
    Desperately I dig into the bag at my feet, trying to ignore the pain from my head as my hands touch cold metal.  I grab the gun, brace as Sam takes another turn, click the safety off and point the gun point blank where the zombie’s head is.
    “Look away!”  I shout.
    “Don’t shoot!”  Sam says.
    “What?!”
    “Don’t shoot – we need that window!”  Sam says.
    “What the fuck do you want me to do then?”  I screech, as the zombie’s icky wet hands curl in my hair.
    “Roll up the window!”  He shouts. 
    Dammit.  I drop the gun and grab the thing’s fingers.  God touching them is even worse than them touching me.  They’re wet, and I really hope that I don’t have any cuts that its blood can seep into. 
    I force the fingers up and the zombie fights me.  Eventually I get them out of the window and roll it up quickly.
    I collapse back against the seat and breathe heavily, even with the zombie’s black eyes still starting at me and its mouth opening and closing against the glass.  Then I see it move and hear a bong against the side of the Jeep.
    “It’s on the roof,”  Cassie says.
    “That works,”  Sam says.  He speeds up and then hits the brakes, hard.  The zombie goes flying and lands in the grass ahead of us.  Sam leisurely turns us away.
    It’s at that point that I notice that in the middle of all this Sam got us frree of the rest of the zombies.  I hit him on the shoulder for good measure.
    “What’s that for?”
    “For driving into a pile of zombies.  Why’d we have to go that way?”
    “It was clear last night.”
    “So what the hell happened?”
    “Look!”  Cassie points between our seats.  We’ve gone over a hill, and yep, there’s the answer right there.
    Maybe half a mile in front of us is the smoldering remains of an SUV.

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Chapter 87

    “Hi,” I say.
    “Hey,”  He hands me the sunflower and kisses me.  Then he leads me over to the table and has me sit.  Sam walks over to a little white table and starts some music.
    “Hey I recognize that!”  I say as Lady Gaga starts singing.
    “Yep,”  He grins.  “We grabbed it from your phone.”
    “Thanks.” 
    Sam piles chicken nuggets and mac’n’cheese on my plate.
    “Sorry, it’s not exactly a steak dinner.  I wanted spaghetti – like that Disney movie – but we didn’t have any,”  He sits down after filling his plate.
    “It’s perfect,”  I say. 
    We crack open sodas and start eating.  We talk about lighter things, happier things, while we eat, and we smile and laugh together.  We finish eating around the same time, and Sam changes the music to “Umbrella”.  He walks back to me and extends his hand.
    “Can I have this dance?”
    “Sure.”  I slip my arms around my neck, and he puts his arms around my waist, and we do that shuffle-shuffle thing that is slow dancing.
    Sam pulls back from me a bit and looks at me.  “You’re really amazing, you know that?  You’re fun and you’re beautiful,”  He strokes my hair.
    “Thank you.  You too,”  I say.
    “I’m serious,”  He says, and then he kisses me again.  I feel warm all over, and then he hugs me to him.
    I close my eyes and breathe in his scent, and feel the warm air, and listen to the music as we do that soft, slow turn.
    I want to remember every moment.
    I have this feeling, this tickling feeling deep in my stomach, that this might be my last moment of peace for a while. 

    The next morning we head out, with me in the front passenger sear and Casie and Sunshine in the back.  As we leave the parking area though, Sam makes a turn instead of going straight.
    “Hey, we’re not going out?”
    “We are.  But this way puts us right on the valley, and then it’s a straight shot to the road we need.”
    “Oh, okay,”  I shrug.  We race through a dimly lit tunnel, made of concrete, road and dim yellow lights that flash by.  Eventually Sam jolts to a stop, but fortunately the seat belt holds me in place. The gate opens and we go through and it’s a bit like going through a car wash, but instead of a line of water we’re bathed in bright sunlight.
    The door shuts behind us just as something hits the car, which is quickly followed by another hit, and then another.  A scream starts to build and leaks out a bit before I clamp a hand over my mouth.
    We’re surrounded by zombies.

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Chapter 86

    We have Sam’s Jeep packed by that afternoon.  We’re taking just his Jeep because if we stay then we won’t need a vehicle anymore.  I don’t like it – I really like having my own car – but I want to spend more time with Sam.  And I figure I can boost another one any time I want.
    Sam gives Cassie a laptop and a solar charger, which I think's really nice of him.
    We spend the afternoon playing video games.  I go off for a bit to try and take a nap, but wind up just tossing and turning, thinking about the whole Cassie-Sam problem.  I’m in bed, just about to give up when there’s a knock on the door.
     “Yeah,”  I open the door and sit on the bed.  Cassie’s standing in the doorway with something hidden behind her back and she has a huge smile on her face.
    “What?”  I ask.
    She swishes back and forth, and then finally brings my long black skirt from behind her, only now it’s decorated with flowers.
    I’m torn because she took a skirt I really like, but on the other hand the flowers look pretty.
    “Thank you Cassie!  Where did you get the flowers?”
    “They were growing between this building and the next.”
    Did I mention they’re all sunflowers?  I’m not found of sunflowers, but heck real flowers are nothing to sneeze at these days.
    “You’re not supposed to go up there alone!”
    “I wasn’t alone.  Sam came with me.”
    “Why?” 
    “You’ll see.  Now put on your skirt!”  She jumps up and down.  “And a white top!”
    I comply, even though I’m a bit suspicious.  Cassie climbs on the bed and fixes my hair.
     “Wait there!”  She says and jumps off the bed and runs off.  She comes back a few seconds later, taking a running leap on to the bed.
    “Okay,” She says breathlessly, and puts some sort of yellow paper on my head.
    “What is it?”  I take it off.
    “Ohh, now you messed up your hair,” She says.
    It’s a paper crown; basically a strip of paper stapled together.  It’s been colored with yellow highlighter so it looks gold and there’s a butterfly sticker, a gold star and a strawberry sticker.
    “Do you like the stickers?  I found them in my bag,” Cassie fixes my hair and puts the crown back on.
    “I do.  The butterfly’s very pretty.   Are we playing princess or something?”
    “Nope,”  She grins.
    “You’re up to something,”  I say.
    “Un-hunh,” She takes my hand and leads me out to the elevator and up to the roof.  We go through the door and I just stop.
    “It’s beautiful,”  I say.
    There are white emergency candles lit everywhere.  There are paper chains, colored with yellow highlighter and strung up everywhere.  Ahead of me is what used to be the picnic table, only now it’s covered in a sheet.  There are sunflowers in a glass on the table and two plates.
    “Oh, very cool Cassie,”  I say.  Then Sam steps from the side with a sunflower in his hand.  He’s wearing black jeans, and a black t-shirt, and a paper crown colored with yellow highlighter.  He smiles at me, and then I hear Cassie behind me start some music.
    “Welcome to the Wild Zombie Base Dance,” She says, and then closes the door behind her, leaving me alone with Sam.

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Chapter 85

    “Yes, of course, but Cassie doesn’t.”
    “No, I mean, will you stay without Cassie?”
    “Oh,” I say as I realize what he’s asking.  And a weird thing happens – I feel warm all over, but a lump forms in my throat too.  “I don’t know,”  I say, just surprised and thrilled all at the same time.
    “It’s okay just forget it,”  He puts the controller on the floor and I touch his arm.
    “No.  You asked.  Just let me think for a bit.  I promised some things to Cassie before we even met.”
    He stops getting up and just looks at me really intensely, like he’s trying to figure out something from my expression.
    “I like Cassie but I like you too.”  I raise my hands, not sure what to do or say to get him to believe me, to get him to understand that I’m hesitating because of my friendship with Cassie, not because I don’t like him.  Crap this stuff is confusing.  So I quickly hug him and pat him on the back and then I go get a Coke.

    The next morning I find Sam sitting at the table with printouts spread before him.  He looks sober and bleak.
    “Is Cassie awake?”  He asks.
    “I think so.  I’ll go get her,”  I go and get Cassie, concerned by Sam’s behavior.  We both sit down and then he gives us each a piece of paper.
    “I’ve found the compound that’s north of Denver.”
    I look down at my piece of paper.  It’s a picture taken from the air of a small town that’s been walled in.
    “They must have started building the wall as soon as the virus hit American shores,”  Sam says.
    “That was quite a leap,”  I say.  “A lot of people thought we could stop it.”
    “Maybe they were playing it safe,”  He shrugs.
    “Any sign of any kids?”  Cassie’s on her knees in her chair so she can lean over the table.
    “No,”  Sam shakes his head, “but they could still be there.”
    “Sign of adults?  Sign of healthy people?”  I ask.
    “Yes.  Also some signs of gardens and livestock.”
    “Almost like they were ready?” 
    “More like they’re getting ready for winter.  There were farms in the area before, so I’m guessing they just nabbed some dairy cows.”
    I lean back, just watching Sam.  It’s like he’s just shut himself off.  I glance at Cassie and she’s immersed in the picture, she doesn’t even notice.
    I know why he’s shut off.  To find this so soon after we found out how Cassie felt... 
I’m sad too.  I want to stay.  I want to stay with Sam and with Cassie.  I don’t understand why this has to change, but seeing the excitement on Cassie’s face I’m pretty sure that she's not changing her mind about leaving.
    Which means I’m going to have to choose.
    Crap.
    Abandon my best friend with strangers or leave my new, cute hot friend alone?  Somebody I care about too.  This really sucks.
    “How far away is it?”  I ask.
    “In the old days, about 3-4 hours depending on traffic.  Now?  I’m not sure.  Probably 1-3 days.”
    “Well?”  I ask Cassie.
    She grins at me.  “When can we go?”
    “How about we pack the Jeep today and head out tomorrow?”  Sam says.
    I feel like someone hit me in the chest with a hammer.
    “Great!”  Cassie jumps up.  “Woo-hoo!”  She exclaims, then bounces out of the room, headed towards her stuff.
    I reach across the table and grab his hand.  I love the slightly rough texture and I love the warmth.
    “Stay,”  he says.
    “Come with us,”  I say at about the same time.
    “I’ll come with you during the trip, I’ll take you guys there,”  His thumb rubs the top of my hand.  “But Delilah – ” He leans over the table and kisses me – “please come back with me.”
    “We’ll think of something,”  I say.  And then for once I do something physical that I actually want to do, without hesitating.  I crawl into his lap, put my head on his shoulder and I hug him, and I let him hold me.

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Chapter 84

    Later that night I go into Cassie’s bedroom.  She likes to spend like half an hour playing PSP before she goes to sleep.  I wave as I come in and shut the door and she holds up a finger.  I sit silently on the bed until she shuts it down.
    “What’s up?”
    “I wanted to talk to you about something Sam brought up today.”
    “Okay,” she raises her eyebrows and scoots back against the headboard.
    “Sam asked if we want to stay here with him,”  I say and then just about hold my breath waiting for her response.
    “But there aren’t any adults here,” She frowns.
    “No.  But we’re safe here.  We have plenty of food and we’re not constantly running from zombies.  Plus, there’s a lab.  Lots of labs.”
    Cassie crosses her arms.   “Delilah, it’s more than being safe from zombies.  I’m a kid.  I’m supposed to have a mom and a dad.”
    “They’re both gone sweetie,”  I say as gently as I can.
    “I know.  But kids used to get adopted all the time.  I know I won’t ever get my real mom and dad back.  But I still want parents.  Somebody to take care of me.”
    “I thought we were doing that,”  I swallow.
    “You’re not a grown up.  What do you know how to cook?  You don’t read me stories.  There aren't any other kids to play with - you're off with Sam and it's just me.”
     “I can play with you more often.”
     “It’s not just that.  I want a mom.”
     “I thought we were taking care of you okay,”  I say, as tears slip down my face even though I don’t want them to.  I wipe them roughly and quickly away.
    Cassie hugs me.  “I know you’re trying real hard.  But you’re not a mom.  You’re not a little kid, but you’re still a kid too.  It’s okay.”  She pats my back.
    I hug her back.  I didn’t realize that she felt this way but it makes sense.  I’m older than her.  I miss my Mom, but really I’ve enjoyed the freedom and I’ve enjoyed making decisions on my own.
    “I didn’t know,”  I say over Cassie’s shoulder.  “We’ll find you someone.”
    “Thanks Delilah,” She pats my back again.
    We both calm down, and I tuck her in and shut the door behind me.  It’s at that point that I realize that I told her that we would find her someone – not that we would find us someone.

    I go into the living room and find Sam still playing video games.  He pauses the game when I sit down on the couch.
     “What’d she say?”
    “How did you know I talked to her?”  I smile.
    He shrugs.  “Just assumed.  So?”
    My smile slips away.  “She really wants a mom and dad.”
    He nods, his eyes focused on the TV.  “Yeah, okay.  And you?”
    “What do you mean – and me?”
    Sam puts down the controller and looks right at me.  “Do you want to stay?”

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Chapter 83

    “Cassie,” I say, holding my hand out.
    A slow zombie in military fatigues ambles out of the brush, bumping into a tree.  I see another behind him.  The question is – how many are there?
    Are any of them fast zombies?
    Then I hear crashing, like something moving very fast through the forest.  That would be a yes.
    “Cassie, run!”  I shout.  I grab her hand and start pulling as she looks over her shoulder.
    “Sunshine, c’mon!”  Cassie shouts.
    And then we’re running, running as fast as we can for the Jeep. 
    “Run!  Get the Jeep started!”  I shout to a confused Sam as we almost reach him.  I see him look past me and his mouth drop open, and then he pivots and races for the Jeep.
    Dear God, why did we run so much before?
    The stitch that had been forming in my side pops instantly into place and I let go of Cassie’s hand so she can run faster.  At the last moment I swerve to the side and swoop up her tennis shoes.  I look behind me, and there’s a young male zombie, in fatigues and without a shirt, running towards me like he’s in an official race.  He’s not even moaning, it’s just his fierce determined eyes burning into me.
    “Delilah!”  Cassie shouts as I hear the Jeep roar to life.
    I spin on my heel and race to the Jeep.  Cassie and Sunshine make it in, holding the door open for me.  I throw the shoes in and grab the side to get in and then slam the door shut.  There’s a thud against the back window – the male zombie’s slammed full throttle against the back, his hands flat against the back window.
    “Go!”  I shout.
    The male’s brown eyes stare right into mine, his eyes so focused, everything in him tense and alert and fierce.  My throat goes dry as I realize that I see no sign of biting.  He’s just like the babies – cracked skin but no wounds.
    Then we take off, leaving him in our dust.

    As we race back to the base, bumping along the way, I find myself staring out the window.  Was that solider – because that was what he was – deliberately infected?  Thinking about his lack of injuries, I bet he was.
    Someone deliberately infected him, deliberately pushed and mutilated the work of Cassie’s dad.  Should I tell her?  Should I tell her that everything he tried to do in his last days was changed and diverted, on purpose, to make the world worse for one person’s selfish goal?
    Would it make her more determined to find a cure or would it make her feel like crap?  Would it hurt her?
    The Jeep swerves around a corner and I grab one of the seats.
    What about the person that did that?  Was that executive out there somewhere infected?  Was he still human?  Or did he reach his goal?  Did he reach sustainable immortality - whatever that was?
    Such an odd phrase – sustainable immortality.  Wasn’t that the point of immortality, wasn’t that the whole meaning?
    Although look at vampires; they were supposedly immortal, but they could still be killed with sunlight or a stake to the heart, right?  But that wouldn’t explain the sustainable part.
    “That was a close call, wasn’t it?”
    “What?”  I ask, jolted out of my thoughts.
    “I said that was a close call, wasn’t it?”  Sam says again.
    “Definitely.”
    “Hey, how about when we get back we play video games?”
    “Sure,” I say.  “How about a racing game?”
    They both groan.
    “You suck at those!”  Cassie says.
    “Yeah, but they’re fun.  And you don’t have to kill anything.”
    “Okay,”  Sam shrugs.
    “Okay,”  Cassie chimes in.
    “Cool!”  I say and then I bounce around like a bunny on the way in until Cassie dissolves into giggles and Sam looks at me like I’m crazy.
    What the hey – I’ll do anything for a laugh.  And then I won’t have to think.

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Chapter 82

    We toss the stick for Sunshine for a while and then we change it to a form of tag, where the humans have to tag a person with the stick, and then that person throws the stick, and then whoever Sunshine brings the stick to is it and it all starts over again.  It sounds really complicated, but in the end it’s just a bunch of running around and giggling and falling over.
    Eventually I get tired and thirsty, and I go back to the picnic area and collapse on the blue blanket we’ve spread out.  I grab a Coke and laugh as Sunshine brings the stick to Cassie the third time in a row. 
    Sam joins me on the blanket, grabbing another soda out of the bag and cracking it open.  He takes a good long drink.
    “I think Sunshine has chosen Cassie as her owner,”  He says.
    “I think you’re right,”  I agree, even though I’m a bit disappointed.  I like dogs, so it would have been neat if Sunshine thought I was hers.  “Cassie does seem to spend a lot of time with her.”
    “Yeah,” He takes another drink.  “Look, I was thinking.  Instead of you guys trying to find that compound north of us, how about you just stay here?  There’s a lab and everything?”
    He looks up at me then, and there’s this earnest, hopeful look in his eyes, like a puppy looks at you when you might take it home.
    I think about the last few days and how fun it’s been.  How nice it’s been to be safe.  And yeah, I think about how much I like him.  I smile.
    “I’ll talk about it with Cassie,”  I say.  And this smile, this glorious happy smile spreads across his face and his eyes glow.  It’s like watching somebody suddenly shine.  I feel my smile grow wider.
    And that’s when the barking starts.

    Sunshine’s standing at the edge of the clearing, body ramrod straight, barking her tail off.  Cassie runs towards Sunshine and I jump to my feet.
    “This can’t be good,”  I say and run towards them.
    “No shit,” Sam says behind me. 
    Cassie screams.
    I don’t remember hearing her scream before.  My brave girl, screaming.
    I put on an extra burst of speed even though I already feel a stitch forming.  Cassie’s gone beyond the edge of the clearing, she’s gone into the woods and Sunshine’s gone too.
    It seems like forever, time is slowing down and what was a short distance of green stretches longer and longer.
    Then, eventually, I reach the edge of the clearing and burst into the forest.
    Cassie’s there, beating the shit out of a zombie on the ground with a tree branch.
    No kidding.
    “That’s my girl,”  I say under my breath.
    “Delilah it was great Sunshine totally jumped him and knocked him to the ground for me!”  Cassie says all in one breath.
    “That’s great,”  I say, noticing that there isn’t any blood or anything on Sunshine – just in case.  I don’t think the virus has jumped to canines, but it’s good to see the lack of a bite.
    Then I hear it – a long low zombie moan, followed by another and another.  Right nearby.

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Chapter 81

    In the morning we go right back to looking through the computers.  I find an interesting thread, but I’m still about to bash my head against the desk from boredom when I feel a cool wet nose against my leg.  I look down and Sunshine wags her tail and licks my leg.
    “Hey girl,”  I say and rub her head.  “Hey Sam, is there anywhere that I can take Sunshine and throw a stick or something?”
    He looks up, his gaze taking in Sunshine and me.
    “Hmmm.  How about a picnic outside?”
    “On the roof?”
    “No.  Outside for real.”
    “Sure.”
    So we grab some food, plates and drinks and put them in bags and then head to the Jeep.  This time we pile into Sam’s, with Cassie sitting in front and me and Sunshine in the back.
    We emerge from the tunnel and it’s like going through a waterfall of sunlight.  Everything’s so bright.  Sam takes us down a different path that what we came in on, down a wooded lane with plenty of bumps that we take so fast that it feels like the Jeep’s hopping into the sky, and Cassie gives a little squeal every time we hit air.
    We tear around two corners in quick succession, one to the right and one to the left, and then we come out into a clearing rich with green grass that’s about half the size of a football field.  The clearing ends in a cliff with mountains visible in the distance.  The sky is a perfect bright blue and filled with big, fluffy white clouds.
    We pile out of the Jeep and Sam and Cassie work on setting up the picnic.  I run to the edge of the woods and grab a stick and throw it for Sunshine.  She runs full out, passing the stick and then turning sharply to pick it up in her mouth and race back to me.
    “Eww,”  I say, rubbing a bit of the slobber from the stick on my jeans.  “Good girl.  Get it,”  I say, and throw it again.  She fetches it a couple of more times and then it’s time to eat.  I sit down and plow into some chips and cold fried chicken.
    “So what have we all found out so far?”  Sam asks.
    Cassie grins.  “I don’t know what you guys found, but I found what I was looking for.”  She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a piece of paper and slaps it on the ground.
    “We have a printer?” I ask.
    “How long have you had that?”  Sam asks.
    “Yes,”  she answers me.  “This morning before you guys even started.”
    “Then why did we keep looking?”  I ask, thinking of the intense boredom of this morning.
    “I wanted to be sure,” she shrugs.
    Sam gives her a dirty look, followed by one from me.
    “So what did you find?”
    “It’s an email between this guy and my dad.  Apparently he and my dad knew each other from some class they took together a long time ago.  Anyways, at the start my dad wasn’t even officially a part of the research.  This guy asked my dad to look at this problem because they were such good friends and my dad was so good at everything.
    “He sent my dad his research, as well as some samples of the vaccine that wasn’t working.  My dad didn’t even get to start with infected blood – he started with a broken vaccine.”
    She stabs the paper and sits back proudly.
    “Why wouldn’t they send him the infected blood?”  I ask.
    “They didn’t want to let the blood out of the lab.  In fact, my dad came here at one point.”
    “Did you find anything saying why they were involved with this at all?”
    “The guy was a teacher here and worked part time for the drug company, but that’s all I found.”
     “Hmmm,”  I say.
    “I might be able to help answer that,”  Sam says.  We both look at him. “It’s a drug company right?  What can you tell me about AIDS and a vaccine?”
    “There isn’t one,”  I say.
    “That’s right,”  Sam points at me.  “Instead, we have a list of drugs, some very expensive, that will keep you alive.”
    “Okay.”
    “What if the drug companies could create something like AIDS, that was scary as hell, but manageable with the right drugs, like AIDS?”
    “That’s horrible Sam!  And not very likely.”
    “Really?  I’ve been going through the military side of things, right?  The military wasn’t brought in until after Cassie’s dad was brought in.  Actually they were brought in originally for military applications of a new drug and then they expanded it to a clean up.”
    “I heard a lot of rumors after India that this was something created by the military,”  I say.
    “I did too and it makes sense.  But I came across this long email by the head of one of the divisions, talking about this great drug that one of the other divisions was working on and how if it could be tweaked just a bit that the military would really like it.  He was asking for marketing ideas for a drug that would create soldiers who couldn’t feel pain, that would create chaos, but could be ‘reclaimed’ afterwards.”
    “Reclaimed?”  Cassie asks.
    “Turned back to human with something like the vacccine, only different right?”  I say.  Sam nods and I get a chill.  It describes the zombies, all except for the part of reclaiming someone.
    “Did they ever get the drug to turn someone back into human?”  I ask.
    “No,”  He shakes his head, dashing my hopes for ransacking the complex behind us for a cure.
    “What did you find?”  Cassie asks me.
    “Nothing.  Just a bunch of meeting notes and agendas and crap.”
    “Oh well,”  Cassie shoves her shoes off her feet and jumps up, grabbing the stick.  “C’mon Sunshine.” 
    She runs off, shaking the stick at the dog, back to being a kid again.  I shake my head and grin at Sam.  He looks at me suspiciously, then shakes his head and runs after her. 
    I sit and finish my lunch, thinking.  Sam was right to be suspicious of me.  I just outright lied to them both.
        I did find something.  I found evidence that someone tampered with Cassie’s dad’s results, deliberately shifting and mutating The Shot.  Each batch was different, but pushed towards the same goal.  It was all very hush-hush, directed by one of the executives of the company.
    Each batch of The Shot was pushed and mutated and tested, all with one goal in mind.  I finish my lunch and run off to play with Sunshine and my friends, with one phrase going round and round in my head.
    Sustainable immortality.

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Chapter 80

    There’s a knock on the door.  I get up and open it and find Sam outside.
    “Please let me in.”
    I open the door and turn and flounce onto the bed.  Sam shuts the door, then sits on the bed and hugs me. 
    I really wasn’t expecting that.
    “I’m sorry I yelled,”  he says.  He’s quiet for a few moments, resting his head against mine.  “You care about me.”
    I’m not sure if that’s a question or not.  I pull back so I can see his eyes. 
    “Yes I care about you.”  How can he not know that?  I hug him, the look in his eyes bugging me.  It’s like he thought I might say no; that I might kick him.  Then there’s this other part, this warm part, that starts blossoming in his eyes as soon as I say yes.
His arms tighten around me and he pulls us both backward until we’re stretched out on the bed, cuddling. 
    We’re quiet for a long while, and then gradually I tell him about my brother.  I tell him parts I never told anyone else, not even my parents. 
    He hugs me as I cry.  I may not ever be able to fix things with Mike, but getting it out, telling my friend and hearing him say it’s okay, makes me feel better.
    Eventually I stop crying and I’m beginning to think he might have fallen asleep, when I feel him kiss my hair, and he starts to talk quietly.
    “When my parents divorced it was like my family just melted beneath me.  My parents went off in different directions and I was the only one left.  I lived with my mom for a while, but she was either at work or with her new boyfriend.  They packed up and moved to Montana, and she sent me to my dad’s house so I could stay at the same school.
    “Dad got married six months after the divorce to this blonde chick who wasn’t anything like Mom.  She didn’t really know how to act around me.  My dad went to work and left me with the blonde chick.  Said he had to spend extra time at work to help his career.
    “I would get in trouble at school and he didn’t care.  Blonde chick showed up because they called her.  She’d bitch because she missed work. 
    “I got into some trouble and would up in juvy for a few days.  After they let me out they sent me to foster care for a while while we had family counseling.  That’s where I met James.
    “First person in a while who cared.  Like you.”  He hugs me against him.  “James was cool.  Knew things, knew how to be.  He had a family like mine and it didn’t even phase him.  He showed me a bunch of stuff.”
    “Then we met Steve and when things started going down we were ready.”
    “What happened to him?”  I ask.
    “James or Steve?”
    “James.”
    He’s quiet for a long time, and I think I probably shouldn’t have asked him.
    “When we got here the area wasn’t clear.  We split up to clear.  I thought I had my area clear.  No, I know I had it clear.  But a zombie came out of nowhere.  James stepped in.  Saved my life.”
    “Did he turn?”
    “No.”
    I hug him tighter and I don’t ask anymore questions, because he’s gulping and it looks like he’s trying to breathe.  He turns away, but I notice a tear on his face.  I nestle into him, and try to tell him it’s okay, even when I know it’s not.
    I fall asleep with his arms tight around me.

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